Drunk Barmaid
by WishingDreamer5
Summary: It may look like an ordinary bar from the outside, but once you get inside it's the other way around... but ten times worse. And how is Cloud supposed to handle a drunk barmaid that flirts with her customers? ...Who the hell is that guy, anyway? If he thinks he can get away with that, he hasn't met the wrath of Cloud Strife yet...


**A/N: ****This is my first attempt ever at writing CloudxTifa (not Kingdom Hearts related, that is), so please be gentle. Also, I never played any Final Fantasy game, and I watched Advent Children ages ago (which is probably the main reason that this is pointless fluff), so please tell me if I did something wrong. Enjoy. ;D  
><strong>**Thanks: M. L. Ayala, for betaing this. :)**

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><p><em>~ Wait a sec... <em>_Was she _flirting_? With a douche bag like him? Who the hell was that guy, anyway? If he thought he could get away with that just like that... ~_

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><p>"Here you are," Tifa spoke, as she put a glass of martini in front of the only stranger sitting at the bar.<p>

As curious as Tifa was to get to know his name, she didn't bother to pay further attention to him; she had other things on her mind at the moment. Actually, it was one thing that was on her mind, but it was so complex that it sufficed.

So she had already turned around to grab another bottle of rum and serve the next (impatient) customer when she heard a soft, "Thanks" from behind her.

Tifa halted. She thought that he had a rather pleasant voice. Soft, gentle, genuine, different... Much like Cloud's. She sighed when she realized where her mind was drifting off to again, or rather, _to whom_. All she seemed to do lately was think of him. But then again, she shouldn't blame herself. Cloud was... well, Cloud. It was hard not to think of him, even when he wasn't here to help her, with his faint, yet barely noticeable smile. And when he did smile for a change, a dimple procured on his cheek. Dimples had always been one of Tifa's weak spots. The same went for the light and hardly noticeable freckles that spread over his cheeks and nose. They had always been there, as long as she could remember and they couldn't possibly make him look more attractive... and angelic.

Also, there was something else she had become aware of lately. There were these small changes Cloud had undergone. She didn't know why or what had caused it, she wasn't even sure if she should be happy with them, but it was there. For some reason, he had become so cocky, so confident, so... _hot_. She shook her head at the last thought, wondering where that had come from.

_But it's the truth, isn't it?_ said an annoying little voice in her head.

_Guh, stop thinking about him that way! Especially here, in the middle of this drunk crowd. Concentrate! There are still customers waiting to be served._

Well, that was much easier said than done. Tifa looked at the clock once again, wondering why Cloud hadn't returned yet. It was probably a busy day for him, but she still couldn't help but feel a little worried. Deliveries, deliveries... All he did was work. He never took a break.

But what if there was a different reason for him not being here? What if he wouldn't come back again? What if he had enough of her and had left her? What if he had another? What if-

Feeling the stranger's eyes still resting on her, Tifa automatically looked up, a questioning look present on her face.

"What is it?" she asked, brushing her long black hair out of her equally dark eyes to look at the man more closely.

"Nothing. Something just seems to be bothering you," he replied, studying her with his soft brown eyes.

"Oh." Tifa swiftly looked away, biting on her lower lip.

Was she such an open book to even strangers? Normally, it was only Cloud who could guess that she was troubled with something...

And why was it that _every_ thought that ever crossed her mind kept bringing her back to the same spiky-haired ex-SOLDIER?

"I'm Hayner," the man then proceeded to tell her, extending his right hand towards her.

Tifa eyed him for a moment, before taking his right hand with hers and replying with a genuine smile, "Tifa. Nice to meet you, Hayner."

"Tifa... I like that name. Can I tempt you to drink something with me?"

Tifa opened her mouth, but then hesitated. She normally didn't drink during work time. It wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do, she had enough experience with that.

And yet, this stran- Hayner really looked like a nice guy. At least he wasn't one of those creepy, drunk tramps that kept stalking her. Yes, unfortunately, she had enough experience with that one, too.

"I don't know..." Tifa said, truthfully.

There was one thing that kind of bugged her; what would Cloud think if he saw her with Hayner?

_Cloud, where are you? What's taking you so long?_ Tifa thought. She looked at the clock once again, before shrugging. _Oh well, might as well do what this guy says. After all, what damage can one little shot cause?_

She would find out soon enough.

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><p>Today had been yet another long and extremely tiring day for Cloud, full of weird deliveries to even weirder customers. That was why he was so glad he was back in town again. To be honest, he couldn't wait to see Tifa again. Marlene and Denzel were probably already asleep. It would be strange if they weren't, but he fervently hoped Tifa hadn't joined them yet.<p>

After stepping off of Fenrir in one swift move, and making sure that nobody could steal it (as if anyone would dare. The last one who tried to come too close to Fenrir was still at the hospital), Cloud stepped inside _7th Heaven_, Tifa's bar. Yes, it definitely seemed to be one of those normal nights in which nothing exciting would happen. Which was good, by the way, because Cloud didn't think he could handle anything exciting this time.

"Howdie, Spikes!" someone with a familiar face cried from his left, lifting his big glass filled with some cheap brand of beer.

Cloud nodded briefly at him as a greeting and then looked around. There was only one person he wanted to see now. As always, the first thing the blonde man did was searching for a sign of Tifa, the owner of the place. This was easier said than done because the place seemed to be even more crowded than it normally was. He wondered briefly why everyone was so loud. The location was so packed that Cloud had much trouble getting to the bar. If there was one place Tifa usually was at, it was there.

The spiky-haired man was right about that. What he didn't expect, though, was for Tifa to be talking animatedly with some dark blonde male... while batting her eyelashes and smiling flirtatiously.

Wait a sec... smiling was one thing, but flirtatiously, too? Why in the world would she do that?

Was she _flirting_? With a douche bag like him? Didn't she know that she could get so much better? Wait, who the hell was that guy, anyway? If he thought he could get away with it that easily, then he was wrong. _And how_!

At first, he decided to watch Tifa's flirting for a while (she was honestly behaving like a hyper schoolgirl who had a crush on someone), but when the bold stranger dared to go far enough to put some stray hair behind her ear and then opted to put that same arm around her waist, Cloud had seen more than enough.

Almost at once, Cloud got a haze in front of his eyes. He made his way to him and before the poor man knew what was happening to him, Cloud had grabbed him roughly by his collar. The blonde dragged him back to the entrance and in one aggressive move, he threw the man out of the place.

"And stay out! If I ever see you here again, I'll make sure you'll regret the day you were born!" he threatened.

Slamming the door shut (harder than he had intended to. The windows quivered slightly), he turned back again, deciding to ignore the people that were watching him (some of them were even cheering for him.

"Hey! Why'd you do that?" Tifa protested loudly, putting her hands on her hips and eyeing him rather defiantly. "This is _my_ bar, with _my_ guests and _I'm_ the only one who decides when someone needs to go! He din't do anything wrong!"

"He shouldn't touch you like that," Cloud growled as a response, his eyes piercing right through her soul.

"He was _drunk_!" she countered, raising her voice slightly.

She probably believed that that was a good enough reason to touch women inappropriately, but it wasn't for Cloud.

"No, _you're_ drunk...er," he countered once again.

Well, that was pretty obvious, even if he ignored the fact that she was swaying from side to side. If she wouldn't have held onto the bar, she would have fallen long ago.

Tifa opened her mouth to protest, but Cloud beat her to the punch with, "Don't deny it, I can see it in your eyes. How much did you drink?"

"Two... mayb' three shots... or more..." Throwing her hands in the air, she cried the last words, "I dunno!"

When Tifa staggered slightly, she swiftly started holding the bar again.

_And I'm not surprised. Vodka, deleting memories since 1405_, Cloud thought with a small shake of his head.

"Ooh, my favorite song!" she suddenly spoke when she heard the upbeat song that had just begun.

Almost at once, she started to wave her arms in the air and dance exotically around Cloud, who stiffened visibly at this new unexpected event. Strangely enough, her dizziness seemed to be gone with the wind. The way her soft skin touched his skin made him feel uneasy. He noticed he had goosebumps everywhere and when she tossed her long black hair, Cloud could smell her intoxicating shampoo. The crowd seemed to love this. He gulped.

_That's enough._

"Party's over. The bar will be closed in fifteen seconds sharp. Anyone who hasn't left within that time will be personally kicked out, by _me_. Time starts now. 15... 14..."

The people here knew Cloud well enough to take him seriously and know that being kicked out by him wasn't exactly a fun thing, unless you loved getting bruises everywhere. This resulted in them getting up and get out of there. After that happened, Cloud turned to Tifa.

"And why'd ya do _that_? They din't touch me," she retorted, scrunching up her nose in a fascinatingly cute way.

_Thank god they didn't!_

Cloud then frowned, blinking slowly. Did he just think she, or rather, her _nose_, was looking _cute_?

"That's because I don't think you're fit enough to play for barmaid, Teef," he replied, approaching her slowly and carefully.

"Oh, really? Wasn't it because you were secretly hoping that I would dance for you alone?" she said teasingly, her wine-colored eyes locking with his striking blue ones. "Do you want a private show, hmm?"

"_No."_

"Sure," Tifa replied, sarcastically, putting her hands on her hips again.

Cloud glared darkly at her. "I mean it."

"So do I! I should be very mad at you right now. Not only did you chase away all of my loyal customers, but you dare to claim that I'm not fit enough to take care of myself."

"Maybe it's better if you go upstairs now and sleep. I'll turn off the lights here."

Tifa blinked a couple of times, surprised by Cloud's change of attitude. It was certainly...sexy, to say the least.

She shook her head at that. She should definitely blame the alcohol for that one.

"Okidokie," she replied, cheerfully.

With a slightly worried expression on his face, Cloud watched her walk towards the stairs. He shook his head as he thought that she had wanted to deny she was bonkers. She couldn't even walk in a straight line, and she thought she wasn't drunk yet.

Women. He probably would never understand them. And understanding Tifa was nearly impossible, so he had stop trying years ago.

After closing off the place and turning the lights off, Cloud went upstairs. Before returning to his own bedroom he decided to check on Tifa first. He opened the door slightly, after knocking softly on her door.

"Why weren't you waiting till I said 'yes'? It's almost as if you were hoping to catch me na-"

"Tifa," Cloud interrupted her, annoyed.

"Clous!" Tifa cried, mimicking him. Her eyes widened when she realized what she had said. "Clous? Hahah, I _definitely_ meant Cloud. ...Clous."

After that she burst into a fit of giggles.

Cloud scratched the back of his head, unsure how he should take that. Was she insulting him? He was sure of one thing, though. Tifa's out of characterness wasn't making any sense. He should put an end to it.

"Yeah... I'm going to sleep now. Do you need anything?"

"A glass of water would be... nice," Tifa replied, her eyes blinking in the little light that was available in the bedroom.

"...Okay."

Cloud turned around again to get her some water. It took him a while to find a clean glass. After returning with a glass of water, Cloud put it on her nightstand, far enough so she wouldn't knock it over in her sleep (that had happened before). He turned to leave again, but to his great surprise, Tifa took hold of his hand.

"Stay," Tifa pleaded. "...Please? I don't think I can sleep."

He wondered if he should consider that. She was drunk, after all, so maybe she would have never said this if she had been sober. On the other hand, sometimes she didn't really look that drunk, almost as if she was joking around...

Great. As if women weren't confusing and complicated enough when they were sober.

Eventually, he sighed and gave in.

Grabbing the edge of the blanket, he spoke, "Very well, then. Move over."

What harm could it do?

...Except giving her a heart attack in the morning. He didn't want to think about what would happen if she woke up and saw him lying next to her. Would she wake him up (yelling) and get furious at him?

Tifa quickly did as she was told, giggling in delight. Cloud raised a thin eyebrow at that.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing," Tifa replied innocently, widening her eyes slightly.

Cloud didn't buy that, but he decided not to say anything. He wasn't really in the mood for her playful games. He had had a long day. Was it that hard to understand that he wanted to have some peace and sleep? Seriously, of all nights she could be drunk like this, she just had to choose this one?

"Right... Goodnight, Tifa."

Tifa yawned. "G'night... Clous."

Cloud was about to roll his eyes again, when Tifa took his hand with a mischievous smile and draped it carefully around her waist. She winked at him when she caught his confused gaze that clearly said, _'What are you doing?'_.

"So your arm won't be all numb tomorrow," she explained, ruffling his hair (as much as that was possible).

Cloud just let her have her way instead of jerking his head away (because then his arm wouldn't be resting around her waist anymore), before replying, "...I see."

Well, who was Cloud to say no to that? Such things didn't happen every day, now did they?

He kissed the top of her head and then rested his chin on that same place. The first thing he would do tomorrow was find out what shampoo Tifa was using, because this delicious smell was driving him slowly insane here and he didn't even know yet what it was.

"Now go to sleep, Teef, otherwise you won't be fit enough to run the place again."

Tifa hummed. She snuggled closer to Cloud and closed her eyes with a content sigh. She loved this warmth. It made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside... although that could also be because of the alcohol. Either way, she didn't really care for now and pretended that it was the first.

It didn't take them long to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

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><p><strong>AN: Whoa, I think I still have no idea where this came from... And I bet they were way too OOC (can I blame the alcohol on Tifa's part?). ****And I would also really appreciate it if you could take a look at my new poll about what kind of story you would like me to write. ****By the way, I kind of "borrowed" Hayner from the game Kingdom Hearts II, but here, he's 7 years older. :)**


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